[sigh]

2007.02.09 9:00p

I'm in the middle of Bible Talk and I get a phone call from said friend. I excuse myself from the discussion and take the call outside.

"Hey, man. What up?" I ask.

"Oh... well, a lot. Did you maybe want to get together tonight?" He asks.

I think for a moment. I really want to get together with him and let him talk about what's going on in his life. I've been pretty uneasy about it since Wednesday night. However, my friend Drew from out of town in staying the night with some of the other guys from my ministry. My hands are full. I respond,

"Um. Did you get my message I left earlier?"

"No, sorry, man. I didn't."

"Oh. Well I called to say that Drew was in town and wanted to hang with us tonight if you weren't doing anything. But I understand if you can't or don't feel up to it tonight."

He answers, "Yeah. Tell him I said what's up and sorry, but I can't."

"It's cool, dude. Hey, maybe we can get together tomorrow after choir practice?"

"For sure, bro. Yeah." I hear him say on the other end.

"Okay. I'll call you after practice is done at 11 tomorrow. Cool?" I say.

"Yeah. Okay. Tomorrow then."

"Alright, buddy. Love you, man. I mean it."

"Thanks, Cy. Love you too."

We hang up.

==

Fast forward: 2007.02.10 2:00p

My phone rings.

I answer. "Hey, bud."

"Hey, Cy."

"Still have time to get together today?"

"Yeah, but I'm going to head down below at 3p. So maybe when I get back if I get back at a decent hour?"

Any hour would be okay. I'd stay up to listen to him and hear him out. "Of course, dude. Just give me a call when you head back into town."

"Alright. I talk to you later."

"Later, man. Love you. Drive safe." I respond.

"Thanks. Love you too."

We hang up.

==

The more I think about what is going on and the more I listen to his voice over the phone, the more my heart is restless and utterly breaks at whatever pain or trial this guy is going through. I'm almost on the brink of tears when I can't recognize the joy and excitement for life that is normally conveyed through his voice. Really, all I can do is pray for him and hope that things will work itself out.

Whatever it is, it won't ever keep me from loving him. He's my brother. Seriously.