The Coolest Animal Ever. EVAR.

...is King Kong. Hands down. The dude's got mad strength, can tear up t-rexes and still be a softie for the ladies. He is THE MAN.

So if you haven't guessed... if you're that thick... I just got back from seeing King Kong at SM Mall with my cousin Ken and King's (the guy who's lived in our house for the last two years) younger sister Tata (it's just a nickname). On a sidenote, King is here in Davao now! It's awesome. He's like a brother to me, so it's really cool to see him again.

This movie rocked my socks so hard I had to buy another pair. Let me just tell you guys that I haven't had this much fun in a movie since... well since I can remember. It's a great ride for 95% of the film. The beginning had my guessing whether or not the rest of the movie was going to be good... I wasn't digging the screenplay in the beginning and some of the camera tricks used later in the film were just kinda weird and distracting to me... eh. But don't get me wrong. The movie is freakin AWESOME. Hats off to Peter Jackson.

So everyone, sorry about the lack of blogs this week. I've been studying like a madman for my prelim exams. The semester here is divided into three grading periods: Prelims, Midterms, and Finals. This last week before Christmas break (merry jesusbirthday by the way) I had six planned exams. I say "planned" because yesterday I was happily surprised that our Algebra teacher decided not to give us one. She said that she was "tired of grading wrong papers". Don't misunderstand that. She's a great teacher, but she has crappy students. Me of course, not being one of them. They don't study, they don't show up for class, and they don't bother to make an effort. Well, they can have fun taking the same class next semester. This teacher is not going to pass them.

So exams this week were so surprisingly and ridiculously easy. I don't know why, but for some reason in EVERY class (I kid you not), I was the first person to finish the exam. And in every class mostly everyone looked at me in awe/surprise/disgust while I turned in my paper. I don't get it, but I think Filipinos were just taught differently on how to take tests. I have a feeling that they all read through all the questions first and then answer them... slowly. That's not how I do things. I like my time, thanks. But they were easy. I'm pretty sure I passed with flying colors. It's in the bag. I was most worried about my history exam today, because I had absolutely NO prior knowledge of Philippine History before coming here... but the test was shockingly easy. All mutliple choice and a lot of the questions had these kinds of options:

a) A blatantly wrong answer
b) The correct answer
c) Maybe
d) I guess

I was chuckling as I made my way through the test. About 6 of 50 questions were riddles or trick questions, such as "If a rooster lays 48 eggs in one day, how many eggs does he lay in 1 hour?"

a) 2
b) 3
c) 6
d) 0

If you answered (d) then you're a smart cookie. Roosters don't lay eggs, dummy. So yeah, questions like that. And the last question was (and this seems to be a popular question of EVERY teacher) "What is your teacher's full name?". I've gotten this question in most of my other classes (actually oddly enough only classes that are taught by women) in previous quizzes and in exams this week. Sadly though, I blanked on the answer more than once for those classes. Yeah, I don't know my teacher's names. Sad, I know. Here, we call them "Sir" and "Maam" so much that that becomes their name. "Did you talk to Sir yesterday?", "What assignment did maam give out last meeting?"... Different.

This week has been a lot of fun. I'm glad it's over though and that Christmas break is finally here. OH! Some really cool news today. Kaloi... you remember him owner of KIC (Kaloi's Internet Cafe) told me that he and Lea talked and they want me to be a groomsman in their wedding. WOW. What is it with me and being in people's weddings? I'm really honored, though. Now, I definitely have to learn a saxaphone piece for their wedding.

Tomorrow, I'm waking up early because we're doing a community service thing with the church. This week we did a used clothing and can goods drive, so tomorrow will be giving it out. It'll be really great.

On a related note, today I took a taxi to school because I was running late. As I got out of the cab, a homeless lady with a child in her arms approached me for a handout. Reflecting back on the time I denied a kid one peso (I actually saw him again, gave him money, then took some pictures of him... those later), I was convicted to be more compassionate. I gave the woman a 20 peso bill. Others saw this, and immediately, I was bum rushed by a mob of poor people. Seriously. There were hands... everywhere. Grabbing too. I reached into my pocket and grabbed a handful of change. I tried giving a peso out to each person, but that was a little difficult as everyone was swarming around me and pushing each other out of the way. Before it got too messy I said sternly, wala gyud. No more. And I walked swiftly to the gate. I was kinda frazzled by the whole thing. Man, poverty is powerful.

King Kong is set in the time of the depression era of the U.S. Compared to the current state of the Philippines, the homeless during the depression era is nothing compared to the homeless of the Philippines and other third-world countries today. Just an observation.

Well, I gotta get up early tomorrow, so that's all for tonight. And by all, I mean this is a freakin long blog. Good night.

Cy

Relax, It's Gonna Be Okay.

...seriously folks. This is the conclusion I have come to. No matter what happens, hey, it's gonna be fine. Life happens, you know? How can we have a say or choice in the things that happen externally? We can't. But what we can do, is learn to cope and adapt to those things.

Yep, so I've got joy again. I'm hopeful again. That's all I have to say. God is good. I'm affirmed of that everyday now.

It's so funny how he uses some pretty awkward or terrible (seeming) situations to really teach us and mold us for what's better. It's neat.

"If God will bring you to it, He'll bring you through it" - Thanks Sarah Grover for that one.

More on this later. I have exams to study for this week... then CHRISTMAS BREAK! WO0T!

Cy

Circumstance

Today after school, I sat on the steps in front of campus waiting for my dad to pick me up. As I sat, I contemplated my life. I thought about the person I am. The person I've become. I need to figure myself out.

As I was waiting, I saw a little boy. He had to be maybe 8 or 9 years old. His face and his shaggy hair was darkened from the dirt that covered him. He was homeless. He wore an old and tattered t-shirt. The shirt was also filthy and had several large holes in it. He wore a pair of raggedy shorts and flip-flops.

When I sat down, this boy came up to me and said, "Kuya, isang piso?". He was asking me for a peso to spare him. Kuya is a term used for respect. You say it to someone older than you, but not that much older than you. What shocked me was that I was so quick to say back to him "wala gyud"... meaning that I don't have any on me. This was a lie. Why was I so cold to his need? Thinking about it now makes me sick. He looked at me and walked off to ask others the same question.

This boy was so desperate, yet he didn't seem desperate. He was cracking jokes with some of the students coming out. He was throwing the coins he did receive around on the ground - tossing them just for fun. He was trying to get people to avail of the taxis parked in front of the campus. I observed him open the door for one student and she gave him a peso. From this, he learned something. I watched him as he tried to open and close any door of any car that pulled up to the sidewalk. This boy was in need.

My heart went out to him, but yet I was still so greedy. If I see him tomorrow, I'll have to give him some money.

While this boy was begging, another boy walked down the street holding his mom's hand. He looked to be about the same age as the homeless boy. He was dressed in his school uniform. Clean. Obviously took a shower that morning. His hair kept clean and cut. And he had someone - his mom. The homeless boy had no one.

It was an interesting thing to watch. One boy so affected by poverty and another boy so fortunate. What was the difference in these two lives? Could they possibly have had the same opportunities? Or are they victims of circumstance?

It's been occuring to me that some things are not in our control. Actually, quite a lot of things in life are not manageable or predictable. I wonder. If I had a different family, how much different would I be? If I had not gone through the experiences I have, would I know the things I know now? What other possibilities could there be?

God says he has a plan for our lives. That's it's not to harm us, but rather to prosper us. Was his plan for that homeless boy to beg for money to eat dinner that night? Was his plan for the fortunate boy to be well off enough to actually have an education? Why did he choose them? Why did God choose the path he did for these two boys?

Why has God chosen the path he has for my life? Why has he put this and that circumstance in my path? Why have I been elected to be faced with certain trials that others never have to even think about? Right now, I wish I struggled with different things. I wish I had a different set of trials. A different set of temptations. But I suppose that I need to grin and bear what I am going through. I've been through difficult situations before and thankfully I have been able to look back and see lessons learned from them. I know that that is also true for what I am going through right now.

Is my circumstance unique? I doubt it. I'm wondering what the outcome will be from this. God knows everything that has, will, and is happening. I trust in that. But I'm curious, is there really circumstances? Or do we shape our own problems and outcomes. I'm not sure, but our actions and our choices shape what happen to us in the future. So my question is... Will I make those right choices and take the right actions? What is right anyway? Isn't all things brought into our life, whether from good choices or bad, meant to teach us?

My thoughts are a mess right now. Thinking can get you into places you don't want to go... but I don't think we can be mindless sheep.

Hmm.
Cy

ARRGGHH

Why the heck am I like this? Why do I do the things I don't want to do?? I know I'm a sinful being. I know it's our nature to act like this, but why the heck cant i change!? Am I doomed to a life full of the same sickening routine? Up mountains, down in the pits and back up again?? I hate myself. I hate the person that I am. I hate how I can't simply say no. Why I'm not strong enough to stand firm. Why I can't just be a good Christian!!

My life feels like its crashing. People close to me are turning into betrayers and people I can't trust. I have no love in my heart. I have no sense of self-worth in my being.

Yeah I know, you might be thinking "Wow, this is not like Cy... or man, what's going on here."

Let me tell you guys something. I've got secrets. I've got some pretty sickening darkness within myself. Yeah, I've told people... yeah my desire is to change, but what the heck! I keep screwing it up. I screw up relationships. I'm screwing up my life! It's in times like this that I need God the most, but I am way too prideful to admit to that right away.

Guys, this is a really dark period in my life right now... It's not like it's been this way since I've been in the Philippines, but a recent confrontation has brought out the demons within me again. I need to rely on God's strength to get out of this. To ask for forgiveness, bask in his grace, and move on with being a loving disciple.

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH CONFLICT IN LIFE?? WHY DO WE HURT SO MUCH? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PAIN! WHY DO THE PEOPLE WE TRUST DISAPPOINT US IN THE HARDEST WAYS!

It's because it helps us to see God more, right? That's the stock Christian answer. But dang. It's a lot easier said than done when you're in the heat of the battle. Have I given up? Definitely not. I haven't even begun to fight.

Sorry everyone for the unique tone of this post. It's what I'm feeling in my heart right now that NEEDS to be let out.

Last night, I cried in my room for 30 freakin minutes. Ashamed of myself. Ashamed of someone close to me. Ashamed of my situation. Ashamed of my weakness and my stupidity.

I need to make my body my slave. I need to get this thing under control. For God. For myself. For my family. For my friends. I'm hurting people I love and that is not my intention.

Thoughts are just coming off the top of my head right now. I'm anticipating in the near future some bad things. Bad things are happening, but I don't know if they'll turn out for the best or not. Things I'm used to. The life i knew is about to be turned upside down. It's going to be entirely different. And because of that, I am scared to death

I guess I have to trust in God. Have faith in him. But wow, it's hard. It is so hard.

I need to change. I need to repent... I want to. I have to. It's the right thing to do. How can I continue living in a life of lies and unhappiness? I can't. Not anymore. NOT ANYMORE! Something must be done.

The battle has begun.

Pray for me.
Cy

by the way. I'm a fake.

D8s

Have I mentioned that I'm learning A LOT here? It's crazy. Not only am I learning some interesting stuff in school, but I'm just learning a lot about myself, about people, about this country, about God's nature. Man. It's a crazy journey.

So last night I had a date with this really cool girl from my church named Aby. She's really nice and sweet and just cool to hang around. She's also 18... but she's in her second year of college.

Let me fill you guys in: Here in the Homeland, most kids graduate high school when they are 16. It's not because they all start really young, either. It's because they don't have Jr. High. Which I think is awesome. I hated Junior High. It was pretty much "Drama Fest Spectacular". Let me tell you something. Junior High kids are MEAN. And like an immature mean. They can tear you up and feed you to the dogs. They're bad.

I remember this one time last year when our Student Ministries class went over to the Middle School (Desert Christian has Preschool to 12th grade over three campuses) to just hang out with the kids, play games, beat them at football/basketball... and the like. Prior to this trip, I had already done worship a couple times for the Junior High chapels...

Ok so this particular day, we're hanging out with some of the little brats (i say with all lovingness in my heart) and one kid comes up... a 7th grader I think... and goes, "Oh yeah! I remember you! You sang in chapel a couple weeks ago."... "yeah, that's right" I respond... the kid replies sharply, "Oh man! You suck!".

I wanted to slap the little satan. Just kidding. But seriously, little kids can be cruel.

Ok, back to the date... yeah she's 18. Before our date at 6pm, It starts raining like OH-MY-GOSH-WHAT-THE-HECK-TROPICAL-STORM! No joke. From inside my room, the rain pounding on the roof sounds like we're being attacked by ze germans. When I leave my house at around 5:30pm to catch a jeep to downtown, I open the gate and immediately see that there's this huge flood rolling down the street. It didn't exactly look all that deep, but when I stepped in it, pretty much my whole feet plunged straight into water. Wet socks. Great.

Man, wet socks are the worst. There's only a couple things I hate more than wet socks... one being jr. highers. (kidding.)

Luckily, I have my umbrella. So I save myself from being totally drenched, but with the angle this rain is coming down at, it was darn near impossible to stay dry. I hailed a jeep got in as fast as I could and took my seat... My jeans were soaked. Ugh. Wet socks, wet jeans. This is the ills. (btw, i'm starting to say "the ills" for anything that's not all that cool... downers.)

During the commute to downtown, it was kinda funny to watch people scrambling across the streets using any single item to keep themselves partially dry... purses, books, backpacks, cardboard, plastic bags...

A couple cars got stuck in some heavily flooded areas. Man, it was crazy.

So I finally get to Kaloi's Internet Cafe (or KIC) and wait for everyone else to show up so we can get this double date rolling... Apparently, everyone had trouble getting to downtown because of the rain.

Originally for the date we were supposed to go to this restaurant on this large hill overlooking downtown called "Jack's Ridge", but we decided to forego that because of the rain. Instead we went to Picobello, this awesome itallian restaurant on the 5th floor of the mall right next to KIC. We had some great genuine italian pizza, talked for a little, then roamed the malls. Oh and I treated everyone to dinner. Seriously though, for 200 pesos a pizza (roughly $4 for a large size), how can I not treat everyone? I plan on eating lunch there tomorrow.

So Aby and I had a good time together. At least on my part I think so... Kaloi and Lea walked around the mall finding stuff to buy for their soon to be home (they're getting married February 5th, 2006 and want me to play the sax at their wedding... yikes), so Aby and I had some coffee, talked a little bit about the dramas of life and how God is awesome... then went to the arcade where she kicked my butt at pretty much all of the games... but I think I let her win... or did I. I dunno. She was good.

After that, we walked across the street to McDonalds or McDo (mick-doh) as it's referred to around here, and had some desert. I got an Oreo Mcflurry and she got just a regular sundae. We talked a lot about the language... I pretty much just got tutored in Tagalog... it was awesome. I'm really starting to learn a lot of the language.

Funny story. While we were chatting, there were these two girls outside... maybe 12 or 13 each and they were trying to get someone's attention who was eating inside... So this one girl, kinda chubby, starts dancing around... or more like flailing around in front of this window. I was trying my darned hardest to keep my attention focused on Aby, but I just had to point it out to her and we started laughing so hard. Great times.

So yeah the date was awesome possum... also, Lea and Kaloi really want the two of us to be close friends... I know they do. Jeez, those guys are so obvious...

Anyway, that was last night... Today I didn't really do much except go to church, have some discipling time with the campus guys, and play DotA... a Warcraft III mod... it's interesting I guess... it's like cocaine here for all the teenage guys though. Thousands of Filipino kids are wasting their life away playing DotA. Hey, I can't blame them though... I pretty much waste my life away on World of Warcraft.

So... I pretty much love the campus ministry here. These guys are so cool. They definitely rock my socks.

Here's a little thing I threw together on Photoshop:


Aby is the girl second from the right. Lea is second from the left. Kaloi is in the middle (on the guy's picture. duh)

The rest of em, I'll introduce another time. Anyway, I have some homework to finish up, so I'll let you guys go. For now. Yeah.

W00t!
Cy

I'm so pumped...

...because I have internet at the house now! This means that I can talk on AIM more... I can consistently post blogs, and I can start taking more pictures and get back to that hobby.

Man! I'm excited!

I also learned that I can upload videos taken with my camera phone... I think they're viewable with quicktime... so I'll have to try that out soon too.

Hope everyone is doing well!