/sigh
So being back in school isn't all that fun. Christmas break was awesome. Got to hang out with family and that was great.
Now, I'm back at school and I'm disliking it more and more each day. I'm finding it increasingly frustrating to interact with people here and with me being the extrovert that I am, is very difficult for me. I'm normally talkative. I'm normally outgoing. Yet here, it feels impossible to be my 'normal' self. I want my friends. I want my 'normal' way of life back in the U.S.A..
Granted, I have learned so much in my stay here, but I am so ready to come home. And I have THREE months left! I guess I must be being ungrateful or something, but really... I'm not being myself here and I hate that.
I've tried. I try to talk or joke around with some of my classmates, even some of my family, but they don't get it. Needless to say, I just feel so left out here. It's like everybody's in on some kind of joke that I'm totally oblivious of.
It sucks that my parents didn't raise me to learn tagalog, but that's just the way the dice landed.
Eh, so with my frustration, I've secluded myself and stayed in my room most of the time either on the computer or reading a book. This culture shock is starting to get to me. I've really never been here this long... and it seems to me right now that three more months is going to be torture.
Luckily, my mom and one of my best friends is coming for three weeks on the 25th of January. My 19th birthday is on the 29th, so they'll be here for that, which I'm very excited for.
Honestly, I'm just so worn out from being here. I don't have many real friends, if any. So emails and occasional phone calls and voice chats online is all I have. My friends back home are what sustain me through tough times, and I don't have that here. I'm not getting constant refreshment, so I just feel so freakin tired every day.
I miss home.
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Hey bud - we miss you too.
So who is coming with your mom? That's cool though. If I didn't have a crazy busy schedule (work, school) then I would have been there in a heartbeat. Hope things get better and that the 3 months go by in a speed that is perfect for whatever you need to go through.
And you'll always have your home to come back to. It's not going anywhere. And neither are we :D
Justin
Ril-CY! You will MORE than survive! YOU will TRI-UMPH! ...okay, I'm really tired now from all that encouragement. I just read Blue Like Jazz. Thought provoking. I didn't agree with all that he said, but he did have good stuff. Remember that God has you among your family for a reason. Make sure you're in the Word,and have some fun! You should make a comic strip about yourself with pictures--it could be, "Adventures in the Homeland!"
my favorite cyril,
I'm sorry to hear that it's difficult for you....we do miss you here back in cali. I'll be praying for you my friend.
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